A BORING DRILL

(Continued from last post "A Pain In The Neck".)

So who is this master bore? A sales representative is a classic example of this ilk. As a part of his sales pitch, such a person would indulge in long-winding blabber about matters unrelated to his visit such as Obama's religion, of how Zen Buddhism took roots in Japan and finally, just when you begin to wonder where all this leads to, he would wind-up by extolling the virtues of the the wares that he has come to sell. So forceful can be the discourse of such a bore that an insurance salesman may convince you (or at least try to make you believe) that your days on this planet are numbered. Or a dog biscuit sales person may highlight the merits of his product in such glowing terms that you start wishing you were a dog.

A third and final variety of bore is one who is most injurious to your mental health. He bombards you with bland and insipid prattle. He can put you to sleep with such alacrity that he can give any anaesthesiologist a run for his money. Simply put, he is a bore to the core. People tend to avoid him a if he were a bearer of some kind of pestilence.

There was one such character in our hostel during my college days. He was nicknamed 'Boric Acid' because, like boric acid that banished germs, his presence made other students vanish without a trace. The moment he appeared at the hostel's entrance, the inmates bolted to the nearest room and bolted their doors. His apparition had the power of imposing a curfew-like situation along the hostel corridors. Some even suggested that he was an ideal candidate for the post of commandant of the riot police. For, all he had to do in case of social unrest was to walk along the street and hey presto, the curfew would come into force without a getting an order from the magistrate!

But then, the Bores have their own uses depending on circumstances. When you are waiting for a shop to open or sitting in an airport lounge awaiting the arrival of your plane of indeterminate time-table, even a bore may come in handy to while away the time. But if, en route to the airport, you run into Mr Bore, avoid him like a plague and take flight. Or else, instead of catching your flight, you might get caught up in your friend's flight of fancy!